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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in tragic_beauty66's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, April 29th, 2006
9:32 am
Here it is...*drum role* this is the announcement you probabaly couldn't give a shit about.

I have a boyfriend. Yes me. The one that hates commitment, the one that can't help herself in public and has to check everyone out yes guy or girl.

Actually Jamie's pretty cool about that, he took me out the other night and i checked out lots of guys and he didn't say anything he just watched me in amazement. Well me met on anzac day, strange time to meet yes i admit that. I've spent pretty much the whole week with him. It's funny because that day at the RSL was the first time in ages that I had guys cracking on to me. Ozzy tried to seduce me but that turned a little weird when i found out that his sister was the lesbain that tried to crack on to me when i worked at BP. Then there was James, one of the HOTTEST and nicest guys i think ive ever met and i had already "made my choice" as he put it. He said after that that i could have gone home with him that night and he would showed me what a real orgasm was, i just smiled and said i didn't help with something like that. So i went home with Jamie instead, which im ashamed to say i almost regret but don't, Since then going out with him in public has given me some kind of aura i guess, everybody always hasa good look at me and says hey. I may have an aura but the commitment fairy has been paying me a few visits. Jamie actually said that I could be the one, what a load of shit seriously, he knows me for five days and im all of a sudden the love of his life. I dont know if i can handle the commitment thing right now, i wanna play a little more and be all reblious *YAY* rebel. But seriously i need help guys, you know i dont ask for much since ive been gone so what the hell should do, do i stop it for a while and just have some with other guys, or do i see if this guys the *real deal* which im worried he could be.

God. HELP ME. *waves flag*

Current Mood: numb
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
7:31 pm
The pics are like really huge i think so you dont REALLY need to see them if you dont want.

Oh yeah helloooo LJ
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Thursday, January 26th, 2006
8:24 am
hello LJ world Im in brisbane at the moment. Fun fun fun.....Mum made a new plan and we are going to Movieworld and Dreamworld and Steve Irwins croc park thingy. It's 8.30 in the morning here it's only 6.30 in WA it took me a whole 2 days to get used to all this time difference stuff.

Happy Aussie Day everyone. Happy drinking.

I have a half sister, this info is thanks to my cousin Sam, her name is Carla and apparently she looks just like me, but 2 years older. She wants to find me but i won't look for her until next year....then i can't believe it may be true....it's odd to type it. I have a sister.

This holiday thing is god damn awesome i love it. I found a peacock feather its so amazingly beautiful. im at my couin jerrys place and her sone the ADD and Autistic one is watching maisy.....he' 8. She has a gorgeous black cat and her eyes are huge shes so agile and stuff.....

Well i geuss i shall go i get some shopping time today woooooo.

Ooooo i finally got my perfume, Beyond paradise by Lorael, i think.

Well so long.

*loves and kisses*

Current Mood: amused
Sunday, January 8th, 2006
9:02 pm
I'm back for a day and im gone again for a month. i leave tomorrow at five in the morning to drive across australia for a month. Yay . Well things in my life that are different. I have very short blondee hair. I have a 31 year old that wants me to be his girlfriend, which im actually considering even though i have been warned not to mess with all this age difference stuff but anywho. Im still at the florist and having a good time. I dont think im working at BP anymore because mum quit and they wont want me there. Theres a guy out on parole for assualt on a young girl that tried to chat me up the other day. got a new phone Motorazr V3. I'm quite ashamed to say that its pink, but i love it. My boobs have a grown. My nails re purple, my bras yellow, i miss josh and mark, im not going to perth till next christmas or next year. My new years was rather boring and chrissy was quiet. I um dont really think i have anything else that anyone cares about so i think ill go to bed and imagine my beautiful girl falling asleep in my arms *sigh* dreams can come true.
Goodbye and goodluck.

Current Mood: rushed
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
7:07 pm
This working thing sucks arse. I'm pulling the two jobs at the moment BP and the Florist. The florist is mon to fri and I work BP on the weekends. It was so flat out at work today though. It makes me a little unhappy to see all theses nice young blokes coming in and buying flowers for there gifl friends. Oooooo speaking of all that relationship crap, i've made a new friend. Hes feral but hes the sweetest thing like ever. I think hes a little old for me but my care factor is about zero. He does however have a three year old son, that is in germany with hes ex girlfriend. OMG the chilli peppers might holidaying in Aus. Im getting my hair done on monday. Chopped and re-dyed. Short hair on me may look a little wierd though and im a little worried about that. OMG again...Jason owns the whole queer as folk AND hes going to burn it all for me! YAY! I saw Keelan and Nick like heaps today and they freaked me out. i need some sleep hey im buggered. I got my olds theyre chrissy presents already they loved them. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I think im done. I want a hug and a kiss and some flowers and a present...well not all of them maybe just one and id be happy.

Current Mood: unloved
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
8:38 pm
Today was such a turn around. I saw Phil and he gave me a HUGE hug. Jason my gay friend is going to burn the 1st four seasons of Queer as Folk for me caue he loves me. This random guy came to the florist and bought a rose for me? Odd yes made me feel so fucking warm and fuzzy! Yay for fuzzy.
Going shopping at lunch tomorrow, seeing Keelan, he has the most beautiful lips Ive ever seen on a guy before, theyre so full and kissable.
Then I had a special friend come and see me at lunch, I know your reading this and *BIG MWA* cause todays was small, I'm loving you so much and that was just what I needed, I'm so glad you can't write back to this. I have these awesome war wounds from the roses today, i had to de-thorn them. Well i got something today that made me feel very happy but when putting more thought into it I realised that it may be the wrong thing to be happy about. My foster sister leaves for good tomorrow and I'm gonna miss her so much. I showed her my tat and she said that I should show mum and i almost fell of the chair laughing. Well I need a little rest tonight and no one wants to talk so GOODNIGHT.

Current Mood: anxious
Monday, December 5th, 2005
1:08 pm
2 weeks and no entry I bet you really want to whats happenening in the oh so distant life of moi.

The Good Things:
Happy B'day Cat loving you right now.
I'm getting a new phone and a digital Camera
I'm proud of my body and for those of you who know me this is a big deal.
Went to a chrissy function on Sat and got all tipsy and stuff...twas good.
Made some new friends.

And thats it.

Falling from grace

You make me satisfied
You only want to ride
But that's alright by me
We happen to be free
For what tomorrow brings
No peace and broken wings
It may have been so good
But now it's understood
'Twas just a night

If I could tear my heart
And keep it miles apart
From love of beast or man
And never give a damn
If I could learn to lie
And never show my pride
I'd be just like the rest
Be someone I detest

I'm always looking for the sun
I'm always looking for the sun to shine

Destroys the best of us
Then leaves the rest of us
Thinking perhaps we'll die
Yet still we stay alive
Lost in a hollow frame
With lonely tears remain
Not knowing our life's worth
Dragging around the earth
How false the light

You make me satisfied
You only want to ride
But that's alright by me
We happen to be free
And if we fall from grace
At least we had a taste
Of something more than this
Unresolved black abyss

I'm always looking for the sun
I'm always looking for the sun
I'm always looking for the sun
I'm only looking for the sun to shine

The Bad Things:
Well i havn't ranted for like.....2 weeks and well this whole thing has been building up and i think somme of you were probably expecting it.
When I was working at BP I had regular customers everyday. One was this guy with dirty blonde hair and we shamelessly flirted. Then I stopped working there everyday and i'm at the florist now, I started last monday. Well I worked at BP yesterday and he came in ...........With his girlfriend. Shes not even fucking attractive and well you guys know that i dont normally judge anyone but well i've had the final straw. She has a huge arse feral hair and lots of freckles, I feel really fucking ugly. I felt so ugly when he came in. I don't even think I smiled at him and hes my favourite person during the day. The day turned out to be shite and it just went down hill. The feeling of rejection started to flow through my whole body and i couldn't bare to smile at anyone so I went for a quick walk and found a new friend did some bad things and went back to work. Hating myself. Being so far away from everyone has made me realise that I knew already that what I had couldn't last. I think im over right now

thankyou and goodbye.

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Monday, November 21st, 2005
3:53 pm
I will be quitting work in a about a month. Today at 5.30 I have a job interview qith the florist. Wish me luck. Work sucks I know she left me roses by the stairs surprises let me know she cares.....Um...........I did some quizes. And I have this mouse in my room I tink hes like super mouse or something because I set a trap in there with peanut butter and twice now hes eaten the peanut butter and lived the trap hasn't gone off. And he kept me awake from 2 in the moring till 4 because I was chasing after him in my bedroom, he was in my bed then on the bindow sill then he climbed up the blinds he was under my bed then on my TV then on the chest of droors then in a box then in my CD shelf the funniest part was when he got into the glass TV cabinet and he was looking at me through the glass that little bastard is really fast tooo
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Current Mood: Again
Saturday, November 19th, 2005
10:25 pm
Hello world.......
This is me..life should be...oh yeah..... fun for everyone.....Woo go saddle club.

I hate saddle club!

It's been a few days, I think? I'm tired as....well a really tired person.
I worked 7 days in a row, 4.30am till 1pm and a little over time. BUt im so happy tomorrows my first days off. ALL DAY.
Oooooo, my mum knows about me being bi and she asked me if i was a full lesbian and said if I am then thats better then liking guys cause theyre shite. But she says shes cool with it and proud I'm happy with my self. I also found out that before she met my dad she had a girlfriend for nine months, but that ended sadly with death becase of drugs.

Hang on I have a visitor.......

mmmm back again...just jamie at like 10.30 at night. Oh the late night convoc we have.

Went to a friends surprise thingy tonight and only had two drinks...go me. Jason and Keith were there, theyre our gay friends and I recently found out that they got married. Well in theyre friends eyes.

I get my second pay on thursday about $1000. I'm a little happy. Jason asked me if I wanted to work at the florist cause theyre looking for new staff. I said I'll think about it. Then I found out Trax is looking for new staff too (CD shop) so i thought thats right up my alley.

Well 6 months.

Miss you guys.

(congrats Cat I'm oh so proud)

Current Mood: as usual
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
2:04 pm
I just found out that I have to work 7 days a week for 2 weeks no days off.... that sucks ALOT. 4.30 in the morning till 3 in the avro at least the pay will be good. I got invited to a ball/dance thingy but i don't know if i can go yet due to this work stuff.

I have this surprise party thingy to go to on the weekend and ive been trying so hard not to tell the guy cause he comes in and gets brekky every morning.

Mum cried at work again. I guess 5 double shifts will do that to some people, I have two scars on the top of my wrist from the fucking baymarie *stupid fucking hot food* they hurt.

And thats all, Zelia wants me to go to jewellery party on fri night, i said fuck that, i hate fancy jewellery my stuff does me fine.

Okay thats all.

Love you guys and miss you guys so much XOXOXOXOXO

Current Mood: drained
Sunday, November 13th, 2005
5:36 pm
Hello children


I got my first pay slip on Thursday night......$527 after tax and that was after 1 week. I'm pretty proud. I went shopping too. Only spent like $100 so it was shitty. OH Amy I got those jeans I wanted. Travis came in today....i think i like him...duh. And the highlight was of course Phil the other when he was telling me that when I was 5 he used to sit with me in a play pen with puppies and keep me occupied..hes 24 now. And my old teacher came into work and said wow its been a while since ive seen you and i had NO idea who the hell he was. THen i went bright red when mum told me. ANd Cams a hottie and Nick came in and then Ben came in and this little 14 year old boy has a crush on me. FUN FUN FUN. I finally watched my Kurt and Courtney DVD.

I miss you guys.

We had drunks come in this moring from the local nightclub across the road and it was 5.30 in the morning. Then the cops got called in for a fight and stuff. FUnny. Mum cried at work today. Not good. This lezbian chick likes me...like likes me but no thankyou.

Love you guys.

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
1:41 pm
Wellllllll, I don't have a lot to right about.
This whole working thing sucks arse. I work 4.30am till 3pm now. It's almost a 12 hour day but not. We've got this chick Jen staying with us aat the moment and shes so fucking awesome hey, shes got like 6 tattoos, her tongue pierced, belly, nose and shes got heaps in her ears, shes becoming my new idol. Travis didn't come and get anything today, he's this hot feral guy that comes in alot and always waits for me to be free so I can serve him. THen Phil came in today and I showed him my tat and he said thell use against me and tell my olds if i give him shite food!! It was rather funny.

Well heres somethings I feel right now.

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Current Mood: tired
Saturday, November 5th, 2005
4:30 pm
My first day off so I decided to do these.
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Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
6:41 pm
....I know it's old news to most.

But I graduated.


Left all of my dearest friends.

I cried for two days. Fucking stupid I know. But in reality I know I won't see most of you ever...again. It's not like any of you care

I started work yesterday Only 2 hours..... 4.30 in the morning till 1pm. I have to get up at 3.30AM. It's sucks but I had such a good day today It was my first full day of work and I didn't fuck the till up once and I worked out all the cash cards and stuff.

I went to the pride thing in perth...I'll post picks later. And the day before I left Scott came and spent the afternoon with me.. I love him hes beautiful.

The drive home was boring but went fast. 14hours in the back seat.

well i have nothing.

Current Mood: content
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
11:41 am
first update in a week.


You have Demon
Positive Traits: Cunning,
Ambition, Passion, Powerful,
Negative Traits: Malicious,
Cruel, Emotionless, Sadistic, Deceitful,

Your eyes are the windows to your soul. What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Current Mood: indescribable
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
9:59 pm
I'm back at school.

I'm fucking stressed because I have 11...yes 11 assignments due by Friday.

I should be doing them right now BUT i don't feel like it.

I did some but got sidetracked in front reception. This guy Shane finds me rather amusing because I'm Bi and I swear a lot and I say disgusting shite.

I told him he should be a Feme. He said NO.

I'm gonna miss my school girls when I leave. Will you guys miss me?

Anyway study time.

I hate this place. !! And all the fucking stupid downputting little cunty bitches that attend this school and find it amusing to put people down.

I'm done.
Sunday, October 16th, 2005
11:05 pm
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Current Mood: lazy
3:52 pm
In all honesty I don't want to go back. I'm having fun here. I got the job at BP. When I finish school me an mum have spoken and she said i can do what i wish with my hair. Im going Poppy Sheppard short and spiky bleached!! My "first" tattoo...yes i have one already but the first one my gets me and she thinks i dont have one. It's going to be a top back job. I'm getting scabby broken wings on my shoulder blades. The some egyptian stuff and so on. As much as I miss my friends I think I love my freedom more. I love being home alone and spending time with me. I love watching what i want, i love going into chat rooms and writing what I want....every now and again mum and dad come in and talk to me about something and I have to make sure none of the filthy conversations pop up. I've done more drawing. I think I've fallen in love with drawing and now colouring too....Cat be proud of me!!!. I'm rather bored at this point in time. I had to apply for a new birth certificate because we've lost mine. I went driving it was fun. I almost hit a fucking kangaroo. Piece of jumping shit jumped right infront of the fucking car!!!!! Scared the shite out of me. To tell the truth I dont want to go back to boarding. I hate some of those narrow minded bitches. I watched Requiem For A Dream again and Trainspotting. I'm done.

Current Mood: bouncy
Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
10:23 pm
Scary Penguin
3 days without LJ....And i feel quite good.
I've a got a new job after schools finished.

Speaking of school finishing. I'm not ready. I don't want to go. I don't believe I've experienced all the things a teenagers supposed to expereince. I'm going to be by my self very soon and to tell the truth i'm really scared. I'm scared shitless of the world and what it has to offer me. I don't think i'll make it without the people that I live with every damn day. You people at school get me through things that most people don't even know about. Things that now I can look back on and feel good about making the choices I did. Telling people how I feel and making moves in my life that have changed me. Maybe to be a better person. I've had some of you say to me that I make a difference in your life. Now that I think about it brings tears to my eyes and I want you all to know that the peopple in my life. You people. Have made the biggest impact ever. I love you guys with all my heart and I'll miss you so fucking much next year.

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Current Mood: scared
Saturday, October 8th, 2005
1:31 pm

ColorQuiz.com ashleigh took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Considers the existing circumstances disagreeable ..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

i think it says sex somewere in there

the rest is oh so true though.

Current Mood: as all fuck
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